


Insight

by 0LaunaAlvara0



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: After Ragnarok, Angst, Gen, Loki back on Earth, One Shot, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 10:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13386120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0LaunaAlvara0/pseuds/0LaunaAlvara0
Summary: If you could see into Loki's mind, what might you find?





	Insight

**Author's Note:**

> This has been rattling around my head for a while now, so I thought I'd give it a go, as I'm stuck on some original stuff and haven't written any fanfiction in a while! My first foray into writing in the MCU fandom, so please be gentle with me. 
> 
> This is basically just a one shot that would be set somewhere after the end of Thor:Ragnarok and before the beginning of Infinity War. There are some possible minor spoilers (just so you are aware). I had the idea of what it might be like to look inside Loki's mind and this is what happened. No pairings or warnings, other than the mention of violence and...well...angst. It's mainly Loki and an OC, but other characters get a brief look in (mainly Stark).

“If he has information, I can find it.”

All the eyes in the room suddenly turned to Grace, most of which had barely been aware of her presence until 5 seconds ago. It was a little unnerving, being the sole focus of attention in a room full of ‘super-people’, but she held her nerve, looking at each Avenger in turn, Rogers, Stark, Romanov, Banner and Barton. And these people weren’t even the tip of the iceberg anymore.

It was Tony Stark who was the first to respond to her remark. He squinted at her for a moment, as if recalling information and then pointed at her. “Grace.”

She nodded at him, secretly surprised that the likes of Stark would remember her name, given the 20 milliseconds of their introduction four or so years ago.

“How?” Was all he said next.

She didn’t falter under his scrutiny. “I can get inside his head.”

It was Bruce Banner who spoke next, his remark almost throw away. “That’s not a place anyone should be.”

“I could get inside any of your heads.” Grace told him idly.

Stark who was pacing the room of otherwise still people, turned to her quickly, pointing again. “Veto that idea. Big veto.” He studied her. “You’re not doing it right now, are you?”

Before she could answer him, Steve Rogers stepped in. “You really think you could get information from him?”

 “Yes.” Grace spoke with more conviction that she actually felt. She’d never poked around in the brain of an Asgardian before, but she wasn’t going to let that small detail get in the way.

“What does it involve?” Banner took a step forward.

“No scientific equipment, Doctor, just me.” She smiled. “You just have to put me in the same room.”

“I’m not sure I like that idea.” Barton spoke up.

“Yeah, I’m with Legolas on this one.” Tony agreed. “Handing Loki a hostage doesn’t seem like our A-game.”

“Is no one listening?” Thor’s sudden booming voice filled the air as he stepped out of the shadows at the edge of the room. “Loki is not the threat we need to be concerned about. He does not know Thanos’ plan.”

“So he tells you.” Steve turned to him.  

“I have no reason not to believe him.”

Tony huffed a laugh. “Other than the hundreds of times he has lied to you previously? Or when he tried to take over the Earth? Or when he destroyed Asgard?” He paused, suddenly more serious. “Or when he gave Thanos the Tesseract?”

Thor spoke quickly and with authority. “He gave the Tesseract over to save my life. To save the lives of our people. He had no choice.” He paused before continuing much more quietly and quickly. “And I asked him to destroy Asgard.”

“Well that’s much better.” Tony remarked.

“Much has happened since New York. Loki is not the same.” Thor tried once again to reassure the gathering in the room.

Grace couldn’t help but feel for Thor. He still believed in his brother after all he’d done. Still believed there was good in him. If only he knew what she had planned.

“He might not be lying, but the information could still be there somewhere. Or at least something that could help us.” She spoke quickly before the argument could become heated again. “He may have overheard something or seen something he has since forgotten.”

Thor’s expression softened. “You can really find such information?”

“Yes. It’s all there. Even if we can’t recall it at will.”

He regarded her for a moment before asking. “Is it painful?”

She shifted her weight slightly to hide her discomfort. ”No.” She told him with a smile. “Not at all.”

It wasn’t. But she could cause pain if she wanted. And this time she really wanted.

“I say it’s worth a go.” Natasha Romanov had remained silent during the entire exchange but now spoke up. “We need all the advantages we can get.” She nodded at Grace, as if to signify her belief in her abilities. That was an endorsement Grace was happy to get.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later Grace found herself outside the door to Loki’s holding cell, having somehow convinced Thor that his presence would affect her abilities and that he should remain out of the way. It was rubbish of course. It made no difference in the slightest to her ‘gift’, but it would have made her plan much more difficult.

Idly she ran her finger along the hilt of the knife concealed in her sleeve, momentarily holding her breath as she reached the cold of the metal blade. She could do this.

Beside her Stark was talking and she finally tuned in. “..... one wrong move and I’ll have the cavalry in there in with us in less than a millisecond.”

“No.” She stated simply, looking at him.

“No?” Stark echoed in question, staring back in surprise.

“I go in alone.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” He told her whilst he adjusted something on the Iron Man arm, the only part of his suit he was currently wearing.

“That’s how this works.” She stated firmly.

“No, it’s not.” He finally looked up at her again. “Did they leave you alone with death row inmates and known terrorists during your time at Homeland Security? Because I’ve reviewed the logs and videos and it looks to me like there were a fair few people in the room when you did your...” He nodded at her head. “...thing.”

Damn you Stark. Damn you and your curiosity. Damn you and your ability to dig up long classified information that even she, as a participant, was not allowed access to.

“This is different.” She tried a different tack.

“Different because of the knife you’ve got concealed up your sleeve?” He raised his eyebrows and looked briefly down at her hand, where nothing was visible.

Stark was far more perceptive than she’d imagined.

“I’m not stupid enough to go in there unarmed.” She’d practiced this response.

“And that’s all it is?” He questioned her.

For a moment she was flustered. Did Stark know what she planned to do? She stared at him for a moment trying to work out the best play here.

“I’m going to kill him.” She told him finally, deciding on the truth.

Stark didn’t even look surprised. “Not that I don’t understand the sentiment, but...” He looked to her for further explanation.

“He killed my brother.”

Stark lowered his gaze and nodded thoughtfully before he looked up at her again. “New York?”

She nodded. “His building was destroyed. He never made it out.”

“Not before leading 11 colleagues to safety.”

This time Grace did laugh, though there was no joy in it. “That’s not in my file. Nothing about my brother is in my file.”

Stark shrugged. “Which is why I’m guessing no one batted an eyelid about sticking you in a room with the person responsible.”

“That was the idea.” She conceded.

“So you think you can just walk in there and....” He made a stabbing motion. “It took the Hulk to take him down.”

“I’ll get your information first.” She stated, avoiding the question.

“Yeah... not where I was going with that.” Tony looked at her with concern.

“I’ve seen his type a million times. God or no god.” She reassured him. “He’ll assume I’m no threat. They never do. But once I get in his head, I can cause enough pain to disable him. He won’t see it coming.”

The concern didn’t dissipate from Stark’s face. “These guys don’t die easily.”

“They’re not immortal.”

Stark held her gaze, clearly unsure what to say next.

“You lied to Thor.” He spoke eventually, clearly trying a different track.

She lowered her gaze. “I know.” There was nothing further she could say about that. The guilt would haunt her, but the pain of her brother’s death was the greater of the two.

“You think I’m going to just let you walk in there and do this?” Stark changed tactic again.

Grace also wanted to know what the answer to that question.

“I do.” She told him firmly. “Because I think you understand the pain.” Her eyes pleaded with him.

Tony looked solemn. “It won’t take the pain away.”

“Probably not.” She admitted. “But I have to do something, for my brother. For all the others who lost their lives. And what if he allies himself with Thanos again?” She continued quickly, unsure if she was convincing Stark or herself. “Do we really want him running around? Do you think this cell will hold him for long?”

Tony studied her for the longest time, before almost imperceptibly nodding and turning to input the security code on the cell door. He turned to her as the door slid open slowly. “Be sure. The cavalry is a second away.” He held out his arm out for her to enter. She took a breath and stepped through, hearing the door softly close behind her.

 

* * *

 

Grace wasn’t sure what she had expected when finally came face to face with the person responsible for her brother’s death. She was prepared for the anger in the pit of her stomach to burn harder, but not quite prepared for the person who turned to look at her now. True, it was the same face as from the reports and news footage, yet he looked far less threatening than she would have envisioned. He was tall and wiry, dressed head to toe in black with a long flowing cloak with green lining. His hair was dark and, unlike his brother’s, was still long, with waves failing down over his shoulders. His posture looked less hostile than it did regal as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back.

 “And who might you be?” He enquired of her in clipped, well spoken tones, narrowing his green eyes.

For a moment she hesitated to answer, her voice stuck her throat. “Grace Holm.” She eventually got the words out. He should know the name of the woman who would end him.

Loki smiled, but it was predatory rather than warm. “Did they send you here to question me again, Grace Holm?” He drew out her name on purpose, but she wasn’t sure if it was to intimidate, or purely for amusement.

“No, not question.” She willed herself calm, professional. “Learn.”

He cocked his head to one side slightly, his eyes still on her, his expression one of curiosity. “Learn what?”

“What Thanos is planning.”

Loki laughed at her response, walking across from one side of the room to the other and unclasping his hands to throw them wide as he turned back to her. “I’m running out of ways to tell you people that I don’t know. Perhaps you’d like me to write it down for you?”

She kept her eyes on him. “You were his ally.”

“ _Was._ ” He enunciated harshly as he took a step towards her.

She held her ground and resisted the urge to step back, even with him still at a few paces distant. “He trusted you once.”

“Trust.” He almost spat the words at her and she unconsciously leant back, though her feet remained rooted in place. “There was no _trust_. Thanos trusts no one. Least of all me.”

“Seems a sensible plan to me.” She found herself replying flippantly, despite her best intentions to remain detached. However it seemed to work to her advantage, as Loki rewarded her comment with a grin; the kind that told her he approved of her sentiment.

His demeanour calmed and he placed his hands behind his back once more, as he paced back to where he started. “I have nothing to offer you in the way of hope.” He turned back to her. “The only thing I know is already common knowledge; that Thanos plans to obtain the infinity gems by any means necessary and when he does, the universe will yield to him. You will all yield.”

“But you won’t?” Grace was curious about his phrasing.

She wasn’t sure if she imagined it, but a brief pained looked flashed across his face. A millisecond and it was gone. “Oh... I don’t imagine I’ll survive long enough to yield. Do you?”

He stared straight at her and for one uncomfortable moment Grace almost felt like he knew her plan. Then he looked away and she realised that it was just a statement of fact and nothing more.

“I believe you.” She told evenly, aiming to gain trust enough to make this work. By now she wasn’t convinced that he knew anything of consequence to help them, but she would try anyway, it was the least she could do before she did what she came here for.

Loki leant back, almost rocking back on his heels as he studied her. “Then why are you here?”

It was time to convince him. “You may know something you’re not aware of.” She stated simply. He narrowed his eyes again, but said nothing immediately, so she carried on. “We all carry information that isn’t in our consciousness. Faces we see, conversations we overhear. We’re not able to recall it at will, but it’s there all the same.”

Loki broke his gaze away and turned to walk to the far side of the room, his cloak flowing behind him. For a moment he was silent, until he spun on his heels and turned back to her. “We all?” He queried. “You seem to forget I am not mere human.”

There was smug superiority in his voice and Grace found herself biting back. “You’re not a God either.” She told him quickly, holding his gaze. “You breathe, you bleed, you die.” She let the final word hang in the air a moment. “I think it’s safe to assume your physiology isn’t so far removed from our own.”

“Is it not?” The expression on Loki’s face was playful, an almost grin on his face.

She chose to ignore him. “I have the ability to see into people’s minds. I can find things they are hiding... or things they don’t know they are hiding.”

Now it was Loki who took a step back, his head turned slightly as he eyed her suspiciously, and she couldn’t help but smile a little and the sudden change in power.

“Relax, I’m not doing it right now. It’s not a party trick, it takes concentration. You’d have to let me in.” The last statement was a lie, but she used it in order to win his trust. She could force her way into someone’s mind if she needed to, but then Loki was powerful, he could well resist her, and this would be a whole lot easier if he didn’t.

His expression was incredulous, his brow furrowed. “Are you genuinely suggesting that I allow you to delve into my mind?”

“Yes.” She replied coolly, secretly relishing in his horror at the idea.

He took several steps towards her as he spoke in absolute indignation. “You tell my brother, and his band of misfits, that they’ll just have to take me at my word. If they think for one second that I would allow a midgardian to... ”

“Your brother believes you.” Grace cut him off before he could finish his rant. She may have imagined it, but she thought Loki’s expression softened at her words; he looked almost pleased for a moment. “But the others will take more convincing.” She continued.

Loki, now calmer, smiled at her with his head on one side. “Which is their concern, not mine.”

Grace could see this plan wasn’t going to work, so she instantly decided on a different path, a final play before she just had to use her ability in a way she hated.

“Fine.” She told him firmly, as she turned her back and started to walk towards the door. “Sit here and rot, it makes no difference to me.” She turned back briefly, “Of course, when we fall to Thanos, which you say we will, I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see you. Sitting here, waiting. Like a gift. Instead of out there... “ She gestured at an invisible freedom. “...with a fighting chance of escape.” She turned away again and put her hand lightly on the keypad which would buzz for the door to be opened from the outside.

“Wait.”

Loki’s voiced stopped her before she could press anything and she couldn’t help but smile at the intended reaction, her back still to him. She swallowed the smile before she turned again. “Yes?”

“If I agree, you will release me?” Loki gestured to the cell.

“Yes.” She lied. Even if she wasn’t about to make sure Loki was never free again, she doubted any of the Avengers beside his brother would choose to see him free.

He seemed to consider his options for a moment. “I consent.”

“Good.” Grace nodded at him slightly and began to walk back towards him, sizing him up as she did so. The leather of his clothing would be no match for the knife she carried, she was fairly certain of that, and once she was in his head she’d know the layout of his physiology. With him incapacitated and her rage focussed, she could only hope it was enough for a fatal wound.

Grace continued her approach and Loki almost backed up against the wall as she reached him. He looked down at her with something akin to uncertainty. “I’m only looking for information on Thanos.” She told him firmly, seeing the unasked question in his eyes.

This much was true. Grace had no interest in anything else within his head. She always saw herself as almost a surgeon, her skill honed by years of practice. In the beginning she’d become distracted and overcome by memories and images. Now she just got to the thing that was needed as fast as possible, the location of a body, the name of a bomber, ignoring and forgetting anything else. It was just noise. She couldn’t possibly retain it all and didn’t. If someone like herself had looked into her own head, she couldn’t even begin to imagine the horror there, but her conscious mind never saw it. She didn’t not want see Loki’s childhood memories or anything that humanised him in any way. He was a monster. Just like any other monster she had dealt with. Only this monster killed her brother, and for that she would make him pay.

“Do I...?” His question trailed away, but once again she knew what he was going to ask.

“No. Just stay where you are and be quiet.” She told him abruptly.

She reached out a hand and held it up to his forehead, the skin on her palm making contact. His brow was cool to touch, like he’d been stood outside on a frosty morning. He looked uncomfortable at the contact, but made no move to push her away.

“It just works better like this.” She explained.

In truth she could do this without touch, but skin contact seemed to act like a conductor, making the process easier. She’d got into the habit of using her palm against the forehead as a technique. It seemed less intimate as a form of contact and strangely appropriate for her ‘gift’.  

She stared into Loki’s eyes. They were so much more expressive than she would have imagined. Not the cold hard eyes of the killers she had dealt with before. For a moment she almost sure she could see sadness in them, but she quickly checked herself, allowing a cool hardness to envelope any sign of empathy. She hated this man. She hated what he had done. She could not afford to allow herself to be fooled into seeing him as anything else. Behind her back she checked the knife in her sleeve of her other hand. Satisfied, she willed her own mind forward, closing her eyes as her vision began to tunnel as expected.

What wasn’t expected was the violent jolt that hit her without warning. She pulled her hand away from Loki’s head, holding it in front her face defensively, and took a step back. Her vision was still blurred at the edges, it took her a moment to realise that Loki hadn’t moved from where he was. The blow wasn’t a physical one.

Loki was looking at her curiously. “Problem?”

She let her arm fall down to her side, the fear gone in an instant. “No...I...” She was a little disorientated, but it was fading fast.

“Perhaps you are just used to dealing with lesser minds.” Loki taunted her, a smile on his lips, replacing the uncertainty of a few moments ago.

She thought better of replying to him, as she had no idea what had just happened. The process was normally a gradual one, like the fading in of an old movie. Once orientated in a subject’s mind she was aware of herself both without and within. But what she’d just experienced was anything but gradual. It had been like a lightning bolt.

Grace shook it off and stepped back towards Loki.

Perhaps it was just that an Asgardian mind was something new. She would try again and make sure her defences were dialled up several notches beforehand. She noticed the smirk on his face as she reached forward with her palm again. He was enjoying it. Enjoying her uncertainty. Her resolve to rid the universe of his presence hardened and she smacked her palm into his forehead with much more force than necessary. The action caught Loki off-guard and his head collided with the wall behind with an audible thud. He closed his eyes with a grimace.

She wasted no time in pushing her mind forward, but this time she braced herself as she broke though. Even with her defences in place, the force of Loki’s mind was still a jolt, but she was better prepared and managed to let it wash over her without sending her reeling. She pushed on.

Loki was fighting her presence, she recognised the signs. She could see nothing but a dark void in front of her now, which was a defence few could muster. His mind was far more powerful than she was used to dealing with, but she wasn’t deterred by it. She already had her foothold, so she pushed through the defences.

Another jolt hit her unexpectedly, but she held the connection with concentration. This time she could identify the emotion involved, even if she couldn’t form the pictures. Rage. Red and raw, like a wound. It emanated from every direction, tainting the void in a reddish mist. It was a loud indiscernible noise, screaming to be heard and without warning it crept towards her like a serpent, encircling her own thoughts, threatening to puncture through.

This was new. This was almost overwhelming. The sensation was seeping through her defences. Defences she thought unbreachable. She never experienced the emotions of her subject any more, not like this. It was threatening, frightening, strong.

But she was stronger.

She held fast and determinedly pushed back against the onslaught. It took a huge amount of mental energy to force it from her own mind, putting a shield between her and it, like a two way mirror where she could observe but not partake.

The rage made sense, given Loki’s past, given what he’d done. It was the intensity of it that was something else. What could cause such uncontrollable rage? Such that it was the first thing she encountered in the Asgardian’s mind.

The moment she asked the question the feeling fell completely away like cloud dissipating into the sky and she was left in the vacuum again. It was unnerving at first, to be subjected to such fury, only for it to fall away into absolutely nothing in an instant, like being in a hurricane that was suddenly quiet.

She took a moment to gather herself. She was aware of Loki, his head still against the wall, eyes closed, her palm still pressed against his head. He felt almost frozen in place, which was strange. As yet, she’d done nothing but observe.

A moment passed and there was a movement in the dark. A figure. A woman. She was laughing, almost dancing. A friend? A lover? Grace had to concentrate hard to bring her into focus. She had long blonde hair, plaited ornately and wore flowing robes. Her voice began to fill the void, though Grace couldn’t understand what she was saying. Another figure was in the periphery. A male of a similar age, bearded and regal in stature. He was smiling, talking, but again Grace couldn’t make out anything of sense. Suddenly the woman called out to the distance and held out her hand. A child appeared, running into her embrace. A boy. Small with dark hair.

Grace flinched and pushed away from the figures with all her might. She recognised a childhood memory when she saw one. The boy was Loki. The woman presumably his mother, Frigga, and Odin, his father. This wasn’t what she came for. She didn’t want to see this. She willed herself past the memory and the figures disappeared in front of her.

The void was silent again for a moment.

She reached forward again, carefully. She was normally so quick at this. She instinctively knew what to look for, where to look, but she felt lost in here, unable to find a path in the darkness.

An erruption of colour and noise enveloped her and she immediately recognised the New York skyline. She felt herself tense. All around her there were explosions and destruction, and she became conscious of being up high. She was watching the Chitauri destroy New York. A vision of her brother came into her own mind and she pushed it away determinedly, trying to remain calm at the sight of the devastation. This was a memory. Not reality. She couldn’t save him. It was done.

Something lying on the ground caught her eye and she moved forward to see better. It was the sceptre. Loki’s sceptre, and within it the Mind Stone. Unable to stop herself she crouched down and forward as if to touch it, just as movement at the side of her caught her attention. It was Thor standing over Loki as he lay on the ground, close to the edge of the tower. Time seemed to slow as Loki looked towards the sceptre and then seemingly at her, before he rolled off the edge of the building and fell. 

She looked down at the sceptre again. The instrument that ended the war with the Chitauri and foiled Thano’s attempt to gain the Tesseract. Her own mind reeling.

She closed herself off for a moment allowing everything to reset to the emptiness of the void. She wasn’t choosing these memories, they were arriving unwelcomed, as if someone was trying to show her something she didn’t want to see.

The quietness was abruptly broken by the sound someone crying. Pained, quiet sobbing. It seemed to surround her, until another figure took form in the darkness and the sound focussed. The figure was on the floor hunched over, shoulders heaving with each pained sob, his face hidden by long unruly black hair. She was transfixed for a moment, unable to push away from the sorrow, which seeped into her own consciousness. Too late she realised she was looking at Loki, as he lifted his head and screamed at her like an animal in pain.

The shock pushed her away violently and she felt she was falling down a long well of blackness. She scrambled to take back control, but images started to form as she fell, unbidden, unrestrained. Faces. Some she recognised, some she didn’t.  There was Thor, glowering. Frigga, disappointed. Odin shouting, his face contorted with anger. Voices started to accompany the pictures, but there was so much noise she struggled to make sense of it.

_“Know your place, Brother.”_

_“Haven’t you done enough?”_

_“... abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son”_

_“...and you will never see her again!”_

_“Silver tongue failed you?”_

_“You’re birthright was to die!”_

_“I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?”_

The words tumbled over her as she fought to make sense of the cacophony. There was so much. Too much. She couldn’t control it. Emotion started to seep in. Pain. Hurt. Disappointment. Anger. Sadness. Grief. She fought to disconnect, to bring herself back, but something stronger than her pulled her down.

And suddenly she hit the bottom of the blackness and the world seemed to explode in every direction. Pain shot through her like a bullet. Bright. Sharp. She felt her body take a jagged breath as it passed through her, filling every atom in her with an indescribable agony. She heard Loki call out and felt him collapse to the floor, but it felt like she was in another time and place. She had no idea if she fell with him, or if she was still standing. Reality was distant.

She was unable to disconnect, like she was a passenger and someone else was driving. All around her was bright burning light and pain.

Somewhere in the distance she could hear Loki’s voice telling her to stop, willing her to stop. He was in pain, but she couldn’t tell if his pleading came from within her head, or outside it. “I’m trying!” She shouted with her mind, hoping that somehow he’d hear her.

More pictures flooded around her and a face she recognised the instant she saw it. Thanos. He was revelling in Loki’s pain. No. Not pain. This was something beyond that. Pain would have been a kindness. This was true evil. This was unimaginable suffering.

She gathered every inch of her strength and courage as she willed her mind to push away. Channelling the pain and with one last effort she tore her mind from Loki’s and found herself falling backwards onto the floor of the cell; the thud of hitting the floor somehow reassuring.

The pain was gone in an instant, but her whole body was shaking, her breathing ragged. The edge of her vision was bright white, so intense that she put her hands to her eyes to shield them even though it made no difference. She stayed where she was for what felt like an eternity, willing her heart rate to calm, allowing the feel of the cold solid floor beneath her to ground her again. When she finally opened her eyes and dropped her hands away, they were wet from tears she didn’t know she was crying.

Slowly Grace looked to where Loki was still collapsed again the wall, his eyes closed, his breath as uneven as hers, pain still etched on his face.

She pushed herself to her knees and edged closer to him. Reaching out her hand to his face, she cupped the side of his chin in a tender touch that would have been unthinkable not much more than minutes ago. As she did so he opened his eyes to look at her and for the first time she noticed the unfallen tears gathered there.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered at him, as she let her hand fall away. The words came naturally, with no real thought on her part, and they probably surprised her as much as they did Loki. But she was looking through different eyes now.

Loki said nothing, every ounce of his energy seemingly spent.

The depth of his grief, rage and pain were all too clear in her mind now. The images were still as lucid as they were a few moments ago. She remembered it all. And the unimaginable pain inflicted by Thanos.

He’d been left behind and forgotten, betrayed by those he trusted most. Thanos had twisted the fury and betrayal, hardened it, manifested it.

But there was another truth she had been shown in that disorder of images and memories, one that was much clearer to her now. That no matter how hard Loki tried to be the monster he thought he was, there was something that remained.

His heart.

It was his heart that had left the sceptre behind when he fell from the tower, knowing that it was the only way the portal could be closed. It was his heart that had protected Jane Foster from Malkeith, making him willing to sacrifice himself to the vortex, pushing her to safety. His heart had driven the blade through Kurse, pushed by grief for his mother. His heart had betrayed Thor on Sakaar, to keep his brother from leaving him behind. It had been the reason he’d returned to save his people from Hela and it was the reason he’d given over the Tesseract to save them again. Acts of heart, not of the consequences.

Slowly Grace pushed herself to her feet. Loki remained where he was, his gaze staring straight ahead, focussed on nothing, his breathing was calmer.

Grace opened her mouth to say something and found nothing. What could she say now? She lowered her head and turned to walk away.

“You came here to kill me.”

She heard Loki’s voice behind her. Soft, quiet, far less commanding that before, neither a question nor a statement. She spun around slowly at his words, unsure as to whether she had heard correctly.

Loki looked up at her, letting his head rest back against the wall. He spoke again before she had chance to. “For your brother.”

She was startled at his words, but tried her best not to react. “How did you....?”

“Do you really think you are the only one with such a gift?”

Grace almost cursed at her own stupidity. Why hadn’t she realised? She knew Loki used magic, or at the very least forces that were beyond human understanding, but she’d never considered that he could do as she did. 

“You were in my head?” She said finally, already knowing the answer. Even as she was in his head, he was in hers.

“It was far less interesting than I imaged it might be.” Smugness had crept back into his demeanour as he looked to his sleeves and straightened them. Grace saw it for what it was now, a need to take back control. “Your need for vengeance is predictable.” He continued.

Grace almost laughed. “Says you?”

Loki looked back up at her and smiled. There was nothing predatory about it. Nothing threatening. It was the look of one person to another who shared his understanding for a single moment in time.

He started to push himself to his feet, though he was weakened and struggled. Despite herself Grace instinctively moved forward to help him, but he waved her away before she could reach him. “I’d rather you didn’t.” He said coolly, though not necessary unkindly.

Grace moved back as he straightened himself, finally managing to support his own weight and stand straight. He looked her square in the eye. “I’m ready.”

She was confused. “For what?” Surely he didn’t think she was going to try again?

“You have a knife don’t you?”

“I don’t...” Grace hesitated.

“You wanted to kill me.” He stated simply, gesturing with his hands. “Here I am.”

She didn’t quite know how to respond to him, as she scrutinised his face for a trace of a joke and seemingly found none. “I’m not going to kill you.”

“You wanted to.”

“I did.” She conceded. “I dreamt about it.” He already knew, so there was no point in not saying out loud.

“Then allow me to fulfil your dreams.” He spread his arms wide and put them up, as if surrendering. “Better you than one of those dull creatures out there.” He gestured towards the door with his chin. “You, at least, have a modicum of cosmic power. And more importantly, I suspect you’ll spare me the cruelty of a slow death.” His manner was matter of fact, but a vision of Thanos came into Grace’s head unbidden, as if Loki had placed it there so he didn’t need to say the words.

Grace chased the vision away and regarded him for a moment, before looking down to take the hidden knife out from her sleeve very deliberately. From the corner of her eye she saw Loki swallow at the sight of it. She held in front of her as she looked back towards him and he lifted his chin defiantly, still maintaining eye contact.

This time a vision of her brother’s face appeared to her and she knew Loki had put it there. It was almost as if a connection still remained. He was trying to goad her.

“It won’t work.” She told him.

Loki narrowed his eyes. “You know I loved every minute of it.” He told her. “Watching them run around below like ants scattering before a boot falls.” His lips twisted into a snarl and he spat the words venomously. “I could sense their fear, I could smell it. And I welcomed it with open arms as they suffered.”

She could hear no more. Her mind made up, she stepped forward towards him, the knife in front of her. He instinctively closed his eyes for the blow and in one move she let the knife fall to the floor and stepped into his space. “Your tricks won’t work on me now.” She whispered, as she placed her chin on his shoulder, her arms reaching around him to rest her hands on his back.

Grace couldn’t see the disbelief on Loki’s face, but she could feel it in every ounce of his being. For a moment he stood stock still, like stone, until slowly, very slowly, he allowed his arms to drop down from their position of surrender. He didn’t return her embrace, but placed his hands lightly on the side of her shoulders, as if it was as much as he was comfortable with.

“Why?” She heard him almost whisper next to her ear.

She smiled despite herself. “Because I know the truth.” She told him.

“Truth?”

She paused for a moment. “That you’re not a monster pretending to be a man. You’re a man pretending to be a monster.”

All went silent and Grace lost count of the moments that passed. She had no idea of what Loki was thinking and resisted from using her abilities to find out. Instead she let the silence hang there for as long as needed. It felt cathartic, as she let her anger towards him dissipate like ripples in a pool.

“I killed your brother.” Loki finally spoke after a time.

“No.” She answered simply.

Loki pushed her back from him, still holding the side of her arms.

“The Chitauri killed my brother.” She clarified.

“I brought them to Earth.” He almost shouted, shaking her slightly.

She shook her head, undaunted.

“Thanos brought them to Earth.” She told him firmly. “He just used you to do it.”

Loki momentarily looked for as if he was going to argue the point, but then let his hands fall away from her and walked away, stopping to rest an arm on the wall in front of him.

“My anger isn’t gone.” Grace told him. “I’ve just been so caught up in my personal vendetta I failed to see who I should be aiming it at.”

Loki looked back at her, his face now unreadable.

“Will you help us?” She asked him outright.

He turned back to her fully. “You want me to help fight against Thanos? I am merely a nuisance to him. A speck he can sweep aside without so much as a thought. All of you are. He will walk over this world and take the remaining stones. And once he has them there will be no force that can stop him. My rage is nothing against him.”

Grace took a step forward. “We don’t need your rage, Loki.” She paused to look him straight in the eye. “We need your heart.” She reached out a hand towards him. “Now, will you help us?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Do leave me a comment and let me know what you thought.
> 
> (In case anyone wonders, I did write an ending where Stark admitted he only let her in because he knew she'd never go through with her plan, but I preferred ending it where I did.)


End file.
